Tangledstuck a Nepeta and Karkat oneshot
by stupidnameforthisthing
Summary: This is making fun of homestuck and Tangled. Rated M just incase but could probably be T. this is very tightly based off of Tangled but all of the cgatacters are from homestuck. All of the beta trolls are in this along with their ancestors except for Feferi who I forgot to slip in. I do not own any of the charcters from homestuck and all rights belong to Andrew hussie


Tangled Stuck Fanfic

Once upon a time there was a beloved King and Queen. Signless and The Disciple. The queen was about to have a baby, but she was sick. Very sick. This is the time people started looking for a miracle. Well it just so happened that there was a magical catnip flower that could heal anything and was used by the evil Batter-witch to keep herself looking young forever. And all she had to to do was a sing a little song.

_Flower gleam and glow_

_Let your power shine_

_Make the clock reverse _

_Bring back what once was mine_

_What once was mine_

But one day the Batter-witch was careless in hiding her magic catnip flower and the kingdoms soldiers found it and took it to the queen.

And a beautiful baby girl was born with magical horns! Today is her first day into the new world! What will her name be?

**Name:** Nepeta Leijon

The kingdom rejoiced of the birth of the healthy, beautiful, baby girl. The king and queen, to celebrate the occasion, sent a single-floating lantern into the air. And at that moment, everything was perfect. But that night as the king and queen slept the batter-witch came to steal the princesses magical horns. But as the batter-witch watched the princess sleep she realized that se could not remove the child's horns, so she took the princess and in a flash she was gone! The kingdoms finest Knights of heart, blood, and void searched and searched but couldn't find the princess anywhere because the Batter-which would not lose her magic catnip flower as easily this time, and she kept Nepeta hidden far away in a high tower where no one would find her. But every night on the day of her birth the king, queen, and every person in the kingdom would light hundreds of lanterns and they would fill the night sky in hopes that their lost princess would return. And this is where our story begins.

"Oh Tinker-bull! come out come out where ever you are!" Nepeta walks over to the windowsill. "AHA!" she shouts. But Tinker-bull wasn't anywhere to be seen on the empty windowsill. "Hmmmmm." Nepeta mutters. "Well I guess Tinker-bull isn't out here." But just as she turns around she hears the faintest of sighs. "Ha! I got you!" Nepeta shouts as she pounces on her friend. Tinker-bull snorts in anger. "Okay thats 413 for me and 207 for you. how about 415 out of 418? Nepeta inquires. Tinker-bull snorts and tosses his head towards the window. "Tinker-bull you know I cant go out side!" Nepeta practically shouts.

"Nepeta! Sweet-heart! I'm home!"

"Oh no! Mothers home! Quick Tinker-bull! Hide!"

Tinker-bull quickly makes himself scarce as the Batter-witch steps inside.

"Hello Mofur!" Nepeta purrs.

*Sigh* "Nepeta darling don't do the cat puns you know mummy doesn't like the cat puns!" The Batter-witch demands.

"Oh! sorry Mofu- I mean Mother" Nepeta says sadly.

"Sorry my flower, you know I don't like to yell at you" The Batter-witch croons as she looks into the mirror.

"Ummm Mother I was wondering if I-"

"Nepeta darling, mummy is feeling a bit tired. Could you sing for me please?" The Batter-witch asks.

"Uhhhh, Okay." Nepeta stutters as she quickly runs and grabs her mothers chair and her stool. She quickly plops her Mother down in her chair then plops herself down on her stool and sings.

_Flowergleamandglowletyourpow ersshinemaketheclockreverseb ringbackwhatoncewas_

_minewhatoncewasmine._

As she sings her horns glow, and the Batter-which hurriedly strokes Nepeta's horns to absorb the magical properties that her horns possessed.

"Nepeta don't rush so!" The Batter-witch shouts.

"So any way Mother, I was wondering that since my 9 wriggling day is tomorrow, could you take me to see the floating lights?" Nepeta asks.

"You must mean the stars." The Batter-witch says.

"No Mother these aren't stars and they're only in the sky on my wriggling day. If you would just take me outside we could-"

"Nepeta, you know you cant go outside." The Batter-witch interrupts

"But Mother I cant help but feel that they were meant for me and-" Nepeta starts.

"No Nepeta! You're not going out side! EVER!" The Batter-witch shouts.

Nepeta stares back at her Mother, sadness written on her face.

"Great! Now i'm the bad guy!" The Batter-which says, distraught, as she slumps into her chair.

"Ummm. Mother?" Nepeta says in a tiny voice.

"What?!" The Batter-witch snaps.

"I know what else I want for my wriggling day." Nepeta says.

"And what would that be?" The Batter-witch sighs.

"Some of that string from the next kingdom over? The one made from the highbred bleat-beasts?" Nepeta asks.

"Thats a very long trip Nepeta! Almost three days time!" The Batter-witch explains.

"I just thought it was better than the stars." Nepeta mutters as she looks down at her feet.

*Sigh* "Alright, for you my little flower." The Batter-witch finally gives in.

Nepeta looks up hopefully

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Nepeta shouts with glee.

"I'll be back in three days time alright Nepeta?" The Batter-witch calls over her shoulder as she leaves the tower.

"Okay Mother! Good bye!" Nepeta shouts as she waves her Mother good bye.

"Good bye Nepeta! I love you!" The Batter-witch shouts.

"I love you more!" Nepeta answers.

"I love you most!" The Batter-which says as she walks away from the tower.

Back in the kingdom inside the castle, the guards were always guarding the lost princesses's crown, sitting on a velvet pedestal waiting for its owner to come back and claim it. And nothing had ever happened to the crown. Until that day.

Three thieves jumped roof top to roof top to the castle.

"Okay. Do 2tiill remember the plan kk?"

"NO DURR YOU JUST EXPLAINED IT TO ME LIKE, FIVE SECONDS AGO!"

"Keep your voice down nub-head. Do want to get caught?"

"YEAH, YEAH, WHATEVER VRISKA."

"Okay Sollux, Operation, Lower Senior Krabby Karkat Pants Down To Steal The Lost Princesses's Crown, is soooooooo on. Vriska whispers.

"SHUT IT AND LOWER ME DOWN ALREADY."

"Whatever Karkat" Sollux mumbles.

Sollux slowly lowers Karkat down into the room by using his **PSIIONIIC POWER2**. _Gog damn your power2 are 2o cool!_ Sollux thinks to himself as Karkat carefully picks up the crown and quietly slips it into his satchel.

"Ye2" Sollux whispers under his breath.

Just then a very heavily muscular guard whips his head around and sees Karkat hanging mid air.

"D- What the?" The guard stutters "D- Oh fiddlesticks! Guards! Code green! The guard looks more closely at the thief as an unknown force pulls him up through the roof. And are those?... No. It couldn't be. But it was! That troll had the nubbiest horns he had ever seen! "D- Correction men! This is a code red! This is a code red!" The guard bellowed over the clambering noises of the guards trying to jump over one another trying to get out of the room.

"Oh 2hiit, Oh 2hiit, oh 2hiit, oh 2hiit." Sollux kept repeating under his breath.

"Shut up Captor and ruuuuuuuun!" Vriska shouts.

The three thieves run out of the city and into the woods but soon the castle guards and their hoof beasts catch up to them and are close on there tails. The threesome stop before an abrupt uprising ledge.

"QUICK LIFT ME UP AND THEN I'LL HELP PULL YOU BOTH UP." Karkat orders.

"Yeah riight kk you could't liift up a 2ack of potato2." Sollux mutters impatiently.

"COMMON TRUST ME! IT MAKES MORE SENSE FOR ME TO GO FIRST BECAUSE IM THE SMALLEST AND THE LIGHTEST!" Karkat argues.

"Aaaaaaalright but no funny business Mr. Vantas." Vriska says as she cups her fingers together.

Karkat steps onto Vriska's hand and she lifts him up over the ledge.

"Alriight! Now help u2 up!" Sollux shouts.

"SORRY FUCK ASSES BUT MY HANDS ARE FULL!" Karkat apologizes as he runs away leaving Sollux and Vriska in the hands of the guards.

One of the hoof beasts noticed one of the thieves getting away. It bucked its **strong** guard off it's back and chased after the short little troll running away. _I must get the crown, I must save the crown, I must protect the crown, I must get that mutant blood._Thought the simple minded creature.

_OH SHIT THAT HOOF BEAST IS CHASING AFTER ME._ Karkat thought to himself as he swerved around a moss covered corner. The hoof beast charged right by and Karkat heaved a sigh of relief. Karkat turned his head and saw a huge tower and smiled inwardly at his luck. _WELL OF COURSE INWARDLY_. Karkat thinks to himself. he'd never be caught dead smiling outwardly. Karkat slowly and quietly walks over to the tower. When he reaches the base he searches around for some kind of door.

_THATS WEIRD. _Karkat thought. _THERES NO DOOR. HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO GET IN AND OUT IF THERE'S NO DOOR?_ Karkat looks up the tower to see a window at the very top of the tower. _FUCK AM I GONNA HAVE TO CLIMB ALL THE WAY UP THERE? _Karkat thought miserably to himself. _WELL, NEVER KNOW WHEN THOES FUCKING GUARDS ARE GOING TO COME BACK MIGHT AS WELL START CLIMBING._ Karkat places one hand over the bricked surface and begins to climb upward. When he reached the top Karkat swung his body over the side of the windowsill and landed on the floor with an "OOMF!" *GROAN* "ALL RIGHT CROWN NOW IT JUST YOU AND ME AND THIS CAST- *WHAMP* Karkat passed out and slumped onto the floor as Nepeta smacks Karkat in the head with a frying pan, and gives a little shriek of surprise as her victim collapses on the ground.

Tinker-bull comes out of hiding and sharply nudges the fallen troll. "What should we do Tinker-bull?" Nepeta asks. "Is he dead?" She adds. Tinker-bull snorts and shakes his head. He than continued to make an assortment of braying noises. "Tinker-bull I don't think we should-" Nepeta paused as the now conscious troll stirred.

"WHA? WHAT FUCK HAPPENED?" The troll asked.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Nepeta demanded.

"I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK THE SAME OF YOU." The troll groaned as he started pushing himself off the floor.

"My name is Nepeta and I live here! What's your name?" Nepeta asks bubbly. She shouldn't be friendly to some random troll but excitement and curiosity was roiling inside of her.

"HMPH WEIRD PLACE YOU'VE GOT HERE" The weird troll says as he propped himself up against the wall.

"I said what's your name!" Nepeta asked more firmly this time.

"MY NAME IS KARKAT. THE FUCK? DID YOU HIT ME WITH THAT FRYING PAN?!" Karkat exclaims.

"You came from out side?!" Nepeta asks curiously.

"NO FUCK ASS I CAME OUT OF THE GROUND, NO OF COURSE I CAME FROM OUT SIDE! WHAT THE FUCK? HAVE YOU SPENT YOUR WHOLE LIFE IN HERE OR SOMETHING?" Karkat shouts sarcastically.

"Well, yes, I spent my whole life up here." Nepeta says, completely ignorant to Karkat's insults. "Hey will you take me outside?" Nepeta asks Karkat.

"WHAT?! NO! WHY WOULD I DO THAT?" Karkat shouts.

"If you don't I'll take your satchel." Nepeta threatens.

"OH YA COME AND TRY AND TAKE IT FROM ME-" *WHAMP!* Nepeta hits Karkat in the head again and she nabs his satchel before he even hits the ground.

"WHA, WHAT THE FUCK? DID YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH THE FRYING PAN AGAIN?!" Karkat explodes.

"Okay Karkat, I took your _precious satchel_ and hid it somewhere where you'll never find it." Nepeta says confidently as she strides towards Karkat.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP HITTING ME IN THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN?!" Karkat complains.

"So here's the deal. You take me to see the floating lights, and then you will return me safely home. Then and only then will I return your satchel to you." Nepeta explains as she helps Karkat to his feet.

"FLOATING LIGHTS? DO YOU MEAN THE LANTERN THING THEY DO FOR THE LOST PRINCESS EVERY YEAR?" Karkat asks.

"I knew they weren't stars!" Nepeta exclaims. Karkat gives her a look like, um no fucking durr.

"I mean," Nepeta corrects herself "Yes the floating lantern thing for the princess."

"SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. I TAKE YOU TO SEE THE FLOATING LANTERNS, AND THEN YOU'LL GIVE ME MY SATCHEL BACK?" Karkat clarifies.

"Yes" Nepeta confirms.

"BUT WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME MY SATCHEL NOW AND THEN WE CAN LEAVE?" Karkat asks.

"Furreal? I can't believe your saying something like that. Do you think I'm stupid or something?" Nepeta asks in disbelief.

"YOU SAYING SOMETHING STUPID LIKE FURREAL... WELL NEVER MIND. BUT HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET OUT OF HERE IF THERE'S NO DOOR?" Karkat asks.

"Well mofur always gets out of the house by a tunnel she dug when I was younger." Nepeta states as if it's obvious that her house has a tunnel and that, wow Karkat was stupid for not knowing.

"WELL WHERE IS IT?" Karkat asks.

"Come on follow me I'll show you.

In the woods, the Batter-witch softly hummed a tune as she walked to the neighboring kingdom. As she walked she heard the cluck beasts singing their sweet lullabies, and the bees buzzing along as they flew flower to flower. Off in the distance she even heard a hoof beast braying. Ahhhh what dreadful noises. On the way back she'll have to remind herself to dispose these pesky beasts. That was really the only reason this trip took three days. The Batter-witch always enjoyed in the killing of these pesky animals to allow a more tranquil environment. The hoof beast started galloping in her direction. _Hmmm._ The Batter-witch thought to herself. _Oh it wont take to much time to kill this hoof beast now._ Wait. Hoof beast? As in, the animals that are used by the army in the kingdom? The kingdom that wants that child back for themselves? Just then the Hoof beast charged through the bushes and stopped just inches from the Batter-which. _Oh no._ Thought the Batter-witch. _Where is your rider?_ The Batter-witch spun around and sprinted back towards the ran around the moss covered corner and dove into the tunnel that led into the tower. "Nepeta?! Where are you my flower?" The Batter-witch called out nervously.

But it was to late. Karkat had already taken Nepeta away from the tower and was leading her to the kingdom.

_Oh no!_ The Batter-witch thought. _Im to late! The kingdoms guards have taken her and soon they will find me and probably have have me beheaded for my crimes. _The Batter-which slumped down on the floor._ Even if the castle guards don't find me I"ll surely die of old age within a few days! No! think!_ _There are no signs of any guards in the tower. Now that I think of it, the house is as clean and as tidy as when I left it! Surely the guards would have moved something. _The Batter-witch got up and went to Nepeta's room. _And why, _The Batter which thought to herself as she moved Nepeta's pillows slightly. _Would they leave this satchel... with the 'lost princesses' crown in it? That girl must have left on her own! I'll track her down if it's the last thing I do. _The Batter-witch thought bitterly to herself.

"So, Karkat?" Nepeta asks Karkat.

"OH MY GOG, WHAT!" Karkat exclaims crabbily.

"How long does it take to get to the kingdom?" Nepeta asks curiously.

"UH, NOT LONG. WHY?" Karkat answers he voice softening. Somewhat.

"Will we get there before dark?" Nepeta asks.

"AS LONG AS WE DON'T STOP AND MAYBE IF A CERTAIN SOMEONE STOPS ASKING QUESTIONS, THEN YES. WE WILL MAKE IT BEFORE DARK." Karkat mumbles.

"What are we gonna eat?" Nepeta asks.

_HMMM MAYBE IF I CAN SCARE HER SHE'LL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO GO BACK HOME AND THEN I'LL GET MY SATCHEL BACK. _Karkat thinks to himself.

"UMM ACTUALLY LETS GO SOMEPLACE FOR LUNCH, MY TREAT." Karkat says with what he hoped somewhat resembled a smile.

"Oh yum!" Nepeta squeals. "Where are we going? How far away is it?" Nepeta asks excitedly.

"UM, NOT FAR AND IT'S A SURPRISE. ACTUALLY HERE IT IS! THE ROAMING HOOF BEAST! Karkat exclaims.

"The Roaming Hoof Beast? Oh well that doesn't sound to bad." Nepeta mutters as she cocks her head to the side, looking at the sign.

"OH NO! OF COARSE NOT! IT'S THE BEST EATERY AROUND! BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T WANT YOU GETTING SCARED NOW WOULD WE?" Karkat asks striding towards the restaurant.

"Well... No" Nepeta admits with a smile.

"WELL THEN STEP RIGHT IN!" Karkat says pushing the door open.

*Gasp* "What is this place?" Nepeta asks fear sweeping over her. All around the pub big, burly, evil, looking trolls sat at every table.

"TAKE A DEEP BREATH THROUGH THE NOSE." Karkat orders *Sniff* "AHH TO ME, HALF OF IT SMELLS LIKE MILK AND THE OTHER HALF OF IT SMELLS LIKE SOPOR PIE. REMINDS ME OF RAINBOWS FOR SOME FUCKING REASON." Karkat says with a slight frown.

"HeY yOu MoThErFuCkErS." Some clearly inebriated troll, with three horizontal scars running down his face asks. "aRe YoU tHe MoThErFuCkIn' WaNtEd TrOlL?" The troll asks holding up a wanted sign in Karkat's face. And sure enough on the wanted sign was a picture of Karkat.

"OH NO. THIS IS BAD. REALLY _REALLY_ BAD." Karkat grumbles as he snatches the wanted sign from the drunken troll.

"What? What's bad?" Nepeta asks nervously.

"THEY JUST CAN'T GET MY HORNS RIGHT!" Karkat shouts angrily shoving the wanted sign in Nepeta's face.

Really, Nepeta couldn't see anything wrong with the picture. Actually, it was really good. It looked like an exact picture of Karkat.

"I don't get it. The picture looks just like you." Nepeta says curiously.

"NO IT DOESN'T!" Karkat exclaims. "MY HORNS AREN'T _THAT_ SHORT AND NUBBY!"

"W3LL I TH1NK YOU LOOK JUST L1K3 TH3 GUY 1N TH3 P1CTUR3 4ND 1 W4NT TH4T R3W4RD FOR MYS3LF!" :D One troll says who is wearing a very oddly hued paired of glasses.

"Reward? Karkat what is going on here?" Nepeta asks nervously.

"D- It doesn't matter." Some extremely muscular troll answers.

_ACTUALLY, _Karkat thought, _HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE THAT GUARD AT THE CASTLE_. _EXCEPT A LITTLE SHORTER AND A BIT LESS BUFF._ _HRNG WEIRD._

"Yeah wwhatevver like it evven matters." A heavily accented troll snides arrogantly. Nepeta decides to walk up to the troll that most recently spoke, and fearlessly says, "You look like what my mother described to me as a 'hipster,' what with the big glasses and the scarf."

Karkat had to smother a laugh as the hipster clad troll looked at Nepeta with shock, anger, and some other emotion that Karkat couldn't identify. _WELL THERE GOES MY PLAN TO SCARE HER HOME. _Karkat thought to himself glumly. _WELL WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW- "_AUGH!" Karkat exclaims as almost everyone in the bar rushed and tackles him. Karkat was punched and kicked harder and harder with every passing second. Including a very painful punch in the nose, causing candy red blood to poor down his face

"No stop!" Nepeta yells. As she franticly starts looking around the room to attack these mean trolls with. "Stop! He has to take me to see the floating lights that I've dreamt about my whole life!" Nepeta jumps at the scarred troll and starts repeatedly hitting him on the back with her fists, but it seems to have little effect on this surprisingly strong troll. "Please! Stop! Don't any of you have dreams?!" Nepeta stops pounding on the troll as she lands a particularly hard hit to the trolls head with stomach churning, *_THUNK!*_ Nepeta slowly removes her hand from the trolls head to find it covered in indigo blood. She stared horror struck as the juggalo slowly turned around and bore his eye's into hers. Karkat gurgled something incoherent, and every troll in the Roaming Hoof Beast, froze. Then the High-Blood spoke, royal blood dripping from the wound in his head, saying in a raspy voice "i HaVe A mOtHeRfUcKiN dReAm. I wAnT tO pLaY tHe PiAnO fOr ThE kInG aNd QuEeN."

"Yeah. I havve a dream to. Gamzee's not the only one wwith a dream." The hipster troll says as he backs away from Karkat's crumpled body. "I alwways wwanted to find true lovve." He admits.

"TH4T DR34M 1S UNR34L1ST1C 3R1D4N, 4ND W1LL PROB4B4LY N3V3R H4PP3N. 1 W4NT TO B3 4 L4WY3R WH3N 1 GROW UP." Terezi cackles.

"D- A blind lawyer. Terezi, get real. Also a you'd have to be much higher on the hemospectrum to be a lawyer. I on the other hand, would like to finish my ceramic muscle beast collection." The muscular troll adds in a calm and controlled voice.

_WAIT. THE FUCK? THAT BITCH IS BLIND? HOW'D SHE KNOW WHERE I WAS? _Karkat thinks to himself _THIS PLACE IS FULL OF WEIRDOS AND REJECTS. MAYBE THIS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA._

"yOu DoNt hAvE tO bE sO mEaN eQuIuS. hOnK" Do: Gamzee says, having all the sad feelings for his blind friend.

"D- My apologies High Blood!" Equius sputters out. "D- Also my apologies to you Lowbl- I mean, Terezi." Equius adds. Just then the pub is filled with the sound of rumbling hoof beasts and their riders galloping towards the bar.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHO CALLED THE KINGDOMS KNIGHTS?" Karkat shouts as the rumbling draws closer and closer.

"Wwhat? Just because wwe wwere gettin all soft wwith you doesn't mean I don't wwant my rewward!" Eridan says arrogantly.

"wHy YoU gOtTa HaTe On EvErY mOtHeRfUcKeR!?" Gamzee shouts angrily at Eridan.

"QU1CK YOU TWO! TH3R3'S A S3CR3T TUNN3L OV3R H3R3 W3'LL SLOW DOWN TH3 GU4RDS!" Terezi shouts as she ushers Karkat and Nepeta towards a tunnel behind the bar.

_WHATS WITH THIS PLACE AND IT'S FUCKING SECRET TUNNELS? _Karkat thinks to himself as he follows Nepeta into the cave.

And just as the two were safely through the door of the tunnel, a troll with massively huge horns nocked down the door yelling, "aLL RIGHT ASS LICKERS, nO ONE FUCKS AROUND WITH THE sUMMONER SO JUST TELL ME WHERE THE MUTANT BLOOD IS AND NOBODY GETS HURT!" Another guard came into the tavern, leading in two chained thieves, Sollux and Vriska.

"D- No sign of the mutant blood sir." The **strong** guard informs The Summoner.

"dAMMIT! yOU TWO!" The Summoner shouts as he gestures to Sollux and Vriska. "dO ANY OF THESE TROLLS LOOK LIKE THE MUTANT BLOOD?" The Summoner asks.

"I don't know. May8e. May8e not." Vriska says annoyingly

"Maybe iif you let u2 go we'll tell you." Sollux bribes.

"yEAH RIGHT! wHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? sTIUPID?" The Summoner snides.

"Uh, ye2" Sollux answers.

"D- Wait! Sir theres a tunnel over here. Maybe the mutant blood escaped from here." The muscular guard informs.

"gREAT WORK DARKLEER! sTAY PUT AND MAKE SURE THE PRISONERS DON'T GET AWAY. i'LL GO AFTER THE MUTANT BLOOD. The Summoner commands. "Yeah right!" Vriska sneers. "The only reason why were staying is because we want to. If we wanted we could go find Karkat by ourselves!" The Summoner ignores Vriska and shoves himself trough the tunnel.

"Well gue22 we gotta do thii2 the hard way." Sollux lisps. Vriska takes action and kicks Darkleer... Well... Where it counts. Sollux then uses **PSIIONIIC POWER2** and breaks there hand cuffs. Every one in the Roaming Hoof Beast stares at the two, thieves. Taking down a kingdoms knight, especially one as **strong** as this one, was no easy task.

"Weeeeeeee're going after the mutant blood, and none of you are going to try and stop us." Vriska demands, using her mind powers to control the thoughts of every one in the pub. Vriska then walks by every troll, inebriated and other wise, and stuffs herself into the tunnel, Sollux not far behind,

As the duo crawled further, and further into the tunnel it widened allowing the two of them to stand.

"So Karkat." Nepeta begins.

"STOP STARTING SENTENCES LIKE THAT! IT'S ANNOYING AS FUCK

"Where do you come from?"

"HEH, NO I DON'T DO FUCKING BACKGROUND STORIES. BESIDES YOU-" Karkat was cut off as Nepeta says "Shhhh did you here that?" Nepeta asks pricking up her sensitive cat-like ears.

"WHAT? NO I DON'T HERE ANYTH-" Karkat starts but stops as he hears the clattering of foot steps on the stone tunnels floor.

"Uh-oh." Nepeta mutters.

"OH JEGUS LOVING FUCK, RUN!" Karkat shouts. Nepeta and Karkat sprint down the tunnel, there pursuer on there heels. In the distance the tunnel ends and Nepeta and Karkat can start to see the first little dot of sunshine.

"cOME HERE YOU TWO!" The guard shouted.

"HOW MANY ARE CHASING AFTER US DO YOU THINK?" Karkat asks, ushering Nepeta closer and closer to the exit.

"Ummm." Nepeta listened closely but only heard one pair of foot steps. Wait. There were two more, but further down the tunnel and they sounded lighter. "Three. But two of them I don't think are guards they sound lighter and smaller than the first." Nepeta manages to sputter out. _All this running is really hard._ Nepeta discovers.

_OH SHIT FUCK THAT COULDN'T BE THEM. _Karkat thinks to himself. _IT COULDN'T BE VRISKA AND SOLLUX._

Nepeta and Karkat burst out of the tunnel to find a steep cliff looking down into a valley. Entirely empty with the exception of a huge dam that was leading down the side of the cliff.

"OH FUCKING SHIT HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET DOWN?" Karkat asks aloud to himself.

"Oh look! there's a ladder going town the dam!" Nepeta shouts, pointing to a rickety ladder.

"OKAY, YOU GO FIRST." Karkat instructs as he practically shoves Nepeta down the old ladder. Nepeta slowly works her way down the latter and once she was a good ways down Karkat stepped towards the ladder and started to work his own way down. They were almost at the end when Nepeta suddenly stopped.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! WE NEED TO KEEP MOVING OR ELSE THAT GUARD WILL CATCH UP!" Karkat shouts.

"But the guard wasn't that far behind us. He would have started to climb down after us wouldn't you think?" Nepeta asks.

"SO?! THE GUY HAS A FUCKING FEAR OF HIGHTS! KEEP MOVING!" Karkat orders.

"Karkat, my mofur told me that almost all castle guards reach god tier. That would mean he would have wings. So, you know, he can probably fly." Nepeta explains.

Just then the ladder started shaking as an unknown force started to try to break down the dam.

"OH SHIT IT'S THEM! NEPETA STOP BEING A COMPLETE FUCK ASS WHO LACKS A THINK PAN AND GET OFF THIS LADDER!" Karkat demands.

The two trolls quickly descended and when the two reached the bottom the water was starting to poor out of the dam at an alarming rate.

"RUN." Karkat orders.

"Where?!" Nepeta shrieks desperately.

Karkat quickly looks around and spots an old mine up ahead.

"THERE!" Karkat shouts, gesturing towards the cave.

Karkat and Nepeta start to run towards the old mine as the dam finally comes crashing down, Karkat swearing all the way. A huge wave of water and debris starts to rush towards them. As the two dive into the abandoned mine the entrance collapses leaving Karkat and Nepeta trapped inside

"OH FUCK OH SHIT WERE FUCKING STUCK IN HERE! OH SHIT NO!" Karkat exclaims. "WATER'S LEAKING IN! WE'LL DROWN IF WE DON'T GET OUT SOON!" Karkat shouts to himself.

"What are we going to do?" Nepeta asks, scared.

Karkat ignores her question and falls down on his hands and knees and starts to scrape away rubble. But soon the water rises over his head forcing him to stand up.

"IT'S NO USE" Karkat says defeated. "I CAN'T SEE, IT'S TO DARK IN HERE."

"Oh no. This is all my fault" Nepeta whimpers. "If I hadn't left home this would have never happened." Green tears started poring down her face. "I'm so sorry" Nepeta chokes out between sobs.

Karkat leans up against the back wall_ SHIT. WHAT CAN I DO. SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DIE _THIS_ WAY. _Karkat thinks with a surprising amount of pity for the small cat girl. "I UHHH... DID YOU KNOW I'M A MUTANT BLOOD?" Karkat asks Nepeta. _IF I'M GONNA DIE I MIGHT AS WELL TELL HER._ Karkat thinks to himself.

"You are?" Nepeta snivels.

"YEAH." Karkat answers._ OH GOD WHY DID I SAY THAT? NOW SHE KNOWS I'M A FREAK_

"Huh." Nepeta grunts.

"HUH?! THAT'S IT?!" Karkat explodes. "WHERE'S THE 'WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT KIND OF A FREAK ARE YOU?' MY BLOOD IS CANDY RED, AND YOU COULD BE KILLED BY BEING SEEN WITH ME, AND ALL YOU SAY IS HUH?!"

"Well I have horns that glow when I sing." Nepeta says, raising her head slightly as the water starts to creep up her neck.

"WHAT THE FUCK? YOUR HORNS GLOW?!" Karkat shouts, disbelief in his his voice. "WELL SING THEN, AND MAYBE WE CAN SEE ENOUGH TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Karkat adds voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh gog why didn't I think of that before?" Nepeta inhales and starts to sing

_Flower gleam and glow_

_Let your power shine-_

Nepeta and Karkat gulp in one last breath of air as the water rises over there head. Darkness prevailed for the few brief seconds as a void of noiseless sound enveloped Karkat and Nepeta. The few seconds felt like hours but then Nepeta's horns glowed and lit up the whole cave with a soft golden glow. Bubbles burst from Karkat's mouth as he let out a startled cry. _HOLY FUCKING SHIT HER HORNS ACTUALLY GLOW! _Karkat thinks to himself. He was so completely mesmerized by the glow of Nepeta's horns that he for got he was under water until he began to feel a slight tightness in his chest. _OH YEAH I FORGOT. TRYING NOT TO DROWN HERE. _Karkat then swam down to the bottom and starts moving the rocks. His actions invigorate as he sees a small glimmer of daylight glistening through a small hole. The hole widens until the whole is big enough that he can shove his hand through. His vision was going black despite the glow emanating from Nepeta's horns._ COME ON JUST A BIT MORE._ Karkat thinks to himself. His vision had gone almost completely black now and he fumbled around until he moved one more rock and he and Nepeta were swept out of the cave and onto the ground.

They lay there, spluttering and coughing, until the both of them had regained there breath.

"We're alive!" Nepeta shouts, relieved.

"OH MY FUCKING GOG. HER HORNS ACTUALLY GLOW." Karkat mutters to himself in astonishment.

"We're alive." Nepeta sighs again.

"WHY THE FUCK DO HER HORNS GLOW?! THAT ISN'T NATURAL! WHY IN ALL THAT IS ALTERNIA DO HER HORNS GLOW?! Karkat shouts at the sky.

"Oh my gog! Karkat" Nepeta cries.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOUR HORNS GLOW?!" Karkat demands.

"What happened to your nose?" Nepeta shrieks.

"WHAT?" Karkat tentatively lifts his fingers up to his nose to find it throbbing painfully. He inhales sharply as pain shoots through his scull.

"Oh no!" Nepeta exclaims. "You got that from those trolls at the Roaming Hoof Beast didn't you?"

"YEAH, BUT NO BIGGIE. IT'S PROBABLY NOTHING." Karkat says to reassure himself more than Nepeta.

"But look at your nose! It's crooked!" Nepeta shouts as she reaches over and tentatively touches the bridge of Karkat's nose.

"OUCH! DON'T TOUCH IT. IT HURTS TO MUCH." Karkat whimpers pathetically.

"Here," Nepeta says as she places Karkat's hand on her head.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" Karkat insists.

"Just, don't freak out." Nepeta asks. She than closes her eyes and begins to sing

_Flower gleam and glow_

_Let your power shine_

_Make the clock reverse_

_Bring back what once was mine_

_Heal what has bean hurt._

_Change the fates design_

_Save what has been lost_

_Bring back what once was mine_

_What once was mine_

As Nepeta sang, her horns glowed and golden tendrils of light crawled up Karkat's arm, up his neck, and onto his face, and stopped on his nose. The pain began to slowly ebb away and once the song was finished, the pain in Karkat's nose had completely vanished. He slowly lifted his hand up to feel his nose, which was perfectly straight and smooth.

"OH MY GOG!" Karkat howls.

"I said don't freak out!" Nepeta shouts.

"WHA- HOW? HOW DID YOU EVEN DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?" Karkat asks bewildered. "HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN DOING THIS EXACTLY?"

"Uhhhh since I was born." Nepeta mutters somewhat embarrassed. "Mother said I was born with magical horns that can heal people, but she said people would want me for themselves so that's why mother kept me in that tower all my life."

"WELL THAT'S FUCKING DUMB. ANYWAY, I THINK WE SHOULD MAKE CAMP FOR THE NIGHT, IT'S GETTING DARK." Karkat remarks.

"Make camp?! But you said we'd make it to the kingdom before dark!" Nepeta squeals.

"YEAH WELL THAT DIDN'T WORK OUT DID IT. DON'T GET YOUR HORNS IN A KNOT, I'LL MAKE A FIRE YOU JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK PRETTY." Karkat says standing up.

"Look pretty? You think I look pretty?!" Nepeta shrieks happily.

"WHAT? DID I SAY THAT? IT'S JUST A FUCKING EXPRESSION. CALM YOUR FUCKING TITS." Karkat explains with an embarrassed look.

"Oh. Well uh, okay." Nepeta murmurs.

"Where'd he go!" Sollux yells into the flooded canyon.

"I don't know. May8e we could clim8 down and walk around the canyon until we find them." Vriska suggests

"Do you know how long that would take? DAY2!" Sollux shouts, frustrated.

"Hey, I'm just saying. Why do we have to look for him anyway? He's pro8a8ly dead. That troll has always had the shittiest luck I've ever seen. Unlike me." Vriska sneers.

"Exactly! Wiith your luck were bound to fiind hiim and that giirl he ha2 with hiim. Then once we get ahold of hiim, we can bargaiin the two of them for our freedom and we can al2o 2ell lost prince22e2 crown. We'll be free, and riich!" Sollux concludes.

"Who was she anyway? She looked kind of familiar didn't she? Or, was it just me?" Vriska asks.

"I'll tell you who she is." An unknown voice said from behind the two scheming thieves.

"Who are you?" Sollux inquires.

"I'm called the Batter-witch but you will call me Her Condescension, or if you wish, The Condesce." The Batter-witch says with a mischievous grin.

"Wow, your The Conde2ce!" Sollux says in awe.

"Your like, our idol!" Vriska squeals.

"Your the mo2t bad a22 of the bad!" Sollux praises.

"You used to work for the neighboring kingdom, right?" Vriska asks. "You worked for Grand High-blood? Did he like, fire you or something? If so, that's soooooooo lame. Because you were so awesome and bad ass and-"

"Enough with the flattery you two!" The Batter-witch says modestly. "I still haven't finished my sentence!"

"My apologie2 your Grand Conde2cen2ion." Sollux lisps.

"Now that girl that your friend has, do you know who she is?" Before either of the two thieves could answer she continues. "She's the lost princess."

The two thieves stared at the Condesce, dumbfounded.

"I knew that bitch looked familiar!" Vriska exclaims.

"Waiit, why are you telling u2 thii2?" Sollux asks. "If you knew thii2 then wouldn't you want the reward for the priince22 for your 2elf?"

"Oh but I do want the princess." The Batter-witch says, her voice like icicles. "I want the princess and if you help me, I'll help you get your friend, what's his name? Karkat? _And_since I still have ties with the Grand-high blood, I can also give you freedom, and great wealth that you could never imagine. If you help me get the princess all of this will be yours." The Batter-witch bargains.

"Weeeeeeeell, I don't really trust you, being The Condesce and all. Buuuuuuuut. I admire you soooooooo, why not." Vriska says in agreement.

"Then it's a deal?" The Batter-witch asks.

"Oh, ye2 ii beliieve 2o. And we're all 2tayin' in thi2 2hit until the end." Sollux lisps.

"So, Karkat." Nepeta asks Karkat, hands outstretched to absorb the light, and warmth of the fire

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT STARTING SENTENCES LIKE THAT?!" Karkat explodes. "IF YOU SAY START A SENTENCE LIKE THAT ONE MORE TIME I WILL LEAVE IN THE MORNING WITHOUT YOU!"

Nepeta giggles.

"WHAT THE FUCK? I THREATEN YOU AND YOU _GIGGLE?!_ WHO DOES THAT?"

"I just think it's cute the the way your trying to be all... macho and manly." Nepeta says with a grin.

"YEAH? WELL FUCK YOU!" Karkat fumes

"Can I ask my question now?" Nepeta asks somewhat impatient.

"WHAT?! WELL... OKAY. BUT YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A FUCKING WEIRD BITCH." Karkat gives in.

"Why are you on the wanted? Is it because of your blood color?" Nepeta asks.

"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ANYWAY?"

Nepeta shrugs.

"*SIGH* NO, IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M A MUTANT BLOOD. I GREW UP AS AN ORPHAN AND I HAD TO STEAL FOOD SO I COULD EAT. AT FIRST IT WAS JUST FOOD BUT THEN... I GUESS SOMEWHERE I WENT WRONG AND I STARTED STEALING MORE AND MORE AND IT WASN'T JUST FOOD ANYMORE. IT WAS STUFF LIKE MONEY AND OTHER THINGS THAT WERE IRREPLACEABLE. THE KINGDOM STARTED LOOKING FOR ME AND SOON A BIG REWARD WAS STUCK ON MY HEAD."

"What happened to your lusus?" Nepeta asks.

"UHH, I KIND OF ACCIDENTALLY KILLED HIM." Karkat admits.

"You. Did. What?" Nepeta asks in disbelief.

"WELL IT WASN'T ALL MY FAULT! I KIND OF... FUCK! WHY AM I EVEN TELLING YOU THIS?" Karkat shouts

"Oh! Sorry! I didn't want to make you upset!" Nepeta explains.

"PFFT YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME UPSET. I DONT CARE WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LUSUS." Karkat says coldly

"That's not true! You must have loved him!" Nepeta shouts. "If something efur happened to my Mofur, I'd be devastated."

"YEAH BUT MOTHER WASN'T AN OBNOXIOUS CRAB-DAD WHO MADE CLICKING NOISES AND ALWAYS STUCK HIS FUCKING NOSE IN YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS." Karkat shouted hunched over, the dying flame of the fire casting weird shadows on Karkat's face, causing his facial features to look distorted. "WELL, I'M GONNA GET SOME SHUT EYE," Karkat grunts. He then slumps down onto the ground and curls up into a tight ball.

"Oh, okay, good night." Nepeta lays down a good distance away from Karkat and closes her eyes and soon the darkness of her waking dreams consume her.

_Where did that troll go? _The hoof beast thought to himself. _I was on the right track until I almost trampled that troll in the woods. _The hoof beast kept his head low to the ground, ears pricked to pick up the slightest of noises._ Now if I was a mutant blooded troll on the run where would I hide? _The hoof beast stops mid trot as he twists his ears towards the trickling sound of a small river._ I've been at this for a long time. I think I deserve a quick drink of water then I'll start the search for the mutant blood again. _The kingdom's horse turns and heads towards the river, pushing his way through the small prickly bushes that were inconveniently placed all over this part of the forest. As the hoof beast came up to the bank of the small river, he bent his head to drink a large quaff of water when he stopped. There was something familiar about the scent in the air. What was it? Smoke? _Smoke comes from fire and fire is made by trolls. The mutant blood must be nearby! _The hoof beast pieces together. The hoof beast straitened himself up and began to head towards the smell of smoke at a full gallop. He started to slow as he saw a clearing in the distance. As the hoof beast neared he noticed the clearing held the mutant blood he was searching for.

Karkat stirred in his sleep as a warm breeze buffeted his hair. Karkat opens his eyes into slits and turns his head slightly skyward to find it blocked by something.

"CRAB DAD, FIVE MORE MINUTES." Karkat groans into his hand.

A loud snorting came followed by hot air pressing down on Karkat's face. Karkat snapped his eyes open and jerks upright to see a large white kingdoms hoof beast, standing over him menacingly.

"OH MY FUCKING GOG!" Karkat bellows.

"Hrng? Wha? What happened?" Nepeta asks forcing herself upright.

The hoof beast starts to snort and buck around the small clearing, almost trampling Karkat under foot. The hoof beast bends down and picks Karkat up in his mouth by his shirt collar, lifting the too big shirt up and over Karkat's head leaving him sprawled out on the forest floor. The hoof beast begins to rush towards Karkat when Nepeta steps in-between the hoof beast and Karkat. The hoof beast skids to a halt in front of Nepeta, not wanting to trample the innocent by stander.

"No! That would be a bad hoof beast wouldn't it?" Nepeta asks in a chiding tone.

The hoof beast snorts somewhat shamefully.

"Now drop the shirt." Nepeta orders.

The hoof beast snorts defiantly.

"Drop it." Nepeta demands firmly.

The hoof beast snorts a complaint one last time before he reluctantly drops Karkat's shirt.

"Oh what a good boy!" Nepeta croons.

"GOOD BOY?!" Karkat roars. "THAT MENACE ALMOST KILLED ME!"

"Oh, you must have spent a very long time chasing after this bad troll haven't you?" Nepeta murmurs sympathetically.

The hoof beasts whinnies in agreement.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?" Karkat asks.

"Do you have a name?" Nepeta asks the hoof beast.

The hoof beast nods his head and moves his snout directly in front of Nepeta's face. On the hoof beasts halter was written Sagittarius.

"Sagittarius huh?" Nepeta asks.

The hoof beast nickered in agreement.

"OH GREAT NOW WE HAVE TO LUG AROUND THIS BEAST TOO?" Karkat asks judgmentally.

Sagittarius snorts angrily at Karkat.

"DON'T SNORT AT ME LIKE THAT YOU FUCK ASS!" Karkat warns.

"Guys, please stop fighting."

Sagittarius brays as if to say, _ya right! _

"Look today is kind of a really important day for me okay." Nepeta explains to Sagittarius. "So can you two both get along for today?" Nepeta begs.

Both troll and hoof beast glare at each other.

"It's, also my wriggling day." Nepeta adds.

Sagittarius begrudgingly snorts with what sounds somewhat like an apology.

"OKAY, FINE WE WONT KILL EACH OTHER... TODAY. Karkat mutters

"So, can we get going then? I can't wait to get to the kingdom!" Nepeta squeals.

"YA, WHATEVER." Karkat agrees.

The now three some start to walk towards the kingdom, and in what seemed like no time at all, they arrived at the kingdom. Nepeta walks hesitantly into the kingdom. All around her, people were shouting, wrigglers were playing in the street, and Nepeta even herd two older trolls haggling over the price of a fancy pair of shoes.

"SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?" Karkat asks.

"It's just so... Wow" Nepeta replies. She stares around dumbfounded as the many townsfolk walk by her. Nepeta inhales deeply and smells the rich scent of baked goods from a nearby stand. Karkat seemed to smell them too because he asks,

"DO YOU WANT TO GO BUY SOME?"

"But we don't have any money." Nepeta says glumly.

But Karkat bulled out a small leather pouch which he shook slightly and from it came the tingling sound of coins hitting against each other.

"C'MON, LETS GO GET SOME FOOD" Karkat says with a small grin.

Out side her majesty could hear the ringing of boat bells as people scrambled to get onto boats to get a good view for the floating lanterns. On the other side of the room her matesprit was fiddling with his grey cape, trying to make the cancer insignia lay flat on his shoulder. The Disciple walked up to Signless and straightened the symbol that way it stayed on top of the the slightly ruffled fabric.

"THANK YOU MY LOVE." Signless says as he twists a strand of hair away from the Disciples face.

The King and Queen turn there heads as the big mahogany door swings open to show the young face of the Summoners apprentice.

"uHHH, EXCUSE ME YOUR MAJESTIES BUT, iT'S TIME."

"Thank you Tavros, you may now leave." The Disciple says with a forced smile.

Signless squeezes The Disciples hand and gives a reassuring smile, and the two of them walk out onto the balcony and slowly walk to the lit lantern waiting for them.

"OKAY EVERY ONE! BOARD YOUR BOATS AND GET YOUR LANTERNS READY!" An anonymous troll calls out from the crowd.

"C'MON NEPETA, FOLLOW ME." Karkat says.

"Where are we going now?" Nepeta asks. It had been a long day with lots of walking and talking and Nepeta was completely exhausted. But despite the fact, Karkat was dragging Nepeta over to the docks.

"SINCE THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME WATCHING THE FLOATING LIGHTS I THOUGHT WE SHOULD GET SOME GOOD SEATS." Karkat explains as he stops at the edge of the water where a small rowboat was docked.

"YOU FIRST." Karkat orders and Nepeta quickly jumps in the boat and plops herself down on one of the two benches. Sagittarius trots up to the boat and nickers at Karkat in a way that made it seem like he was saying, _Haha you your just pathetic when it comes to girls aren't you?_ As Nepeta was staring out at the lake Karkat quickly whipped his head around and flips off Sagittarius. The hoof beast gave out a snort of out rage as the two trolls pushed off from the bank. Karkat pulls out a paddle and with great effort, rows the two of them out into the middle of the lake. As the boat comes to a stop Karkat slumps down on his bench and gives a content sigh.

"Uh, Karkat?" Nepeta asks hesitantly.

"WHAT?" Karkat asks.

"What am I going to do after I see these lanterns?" Nepeta asks.

"GO BACK TO YOUR TOWER AND LIVE OUT YOUR LIFE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH YOUR MOTHER." Karkat replies bitterly.

"No! Well... Yes but, what I meant was, my dream all these sweeps was to see these lanterns. I wont have a dream after this." Nepeta says sadly.

"WELL I GUESS YOU GET TO PICK A NEW DREAM AFTER THIS. I MEAN, WHAT EVER IT IS, I SURE DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT IT IS." Karkat explains.

The two of them stare down at the water until a small yellow light begins to streak across the lake. Nepeta looks up astonished, as hundreds of lanterns fill the night sky.

*Gasp* "Oh my gog! There beautiful!" Nepeta sighs.

"HEY UH, NEPETA." Karkat says interrupting the silence. Nepeta turns around to see Karkat holding to lit lanterns.

"Karkat! Where did you get those?" Nepeta asks in astonishment.

Karkat shrugs.

"THIS TROLL WAS HANDING THEM OUT FOR FREE." Karkat explains.

Karkat hands over a lantern to Nepeta and the two of them gently lift and toss the lanterns onto the air. The sky was completely filled with lanterns now, casting a golden glow over the lake and boats.

"Karkat, this is so amazing." Nepeta whispers. "I wish I could stay right here, in this moment forever."

Karkat reaches over and softly places his hand on Nepeta's cheek and whispers, "ME TO." Karkat leans closer to Nepeta but stops when he sees something out of the corner of his eye. He saw two figures standing in the night gloom on the deserted dock.

"What's wrong?" Nepeta asks.

"UMM NOTHING JUST..." Karkat straightens and picks the paddle up off the bottom of the boat and starts to row towards shore. As the boat stops on the bank Karkat jumps off the boat. He turns back to Nepeta and says, "I'LL BE RIGHT BACK OKAY?"

bbvn "Uh, Okay." Nepeta says confused.

Karkat turns around and walks into the gloom of the night.

"ALRIGHT YOU PIECES OF SHIT COME OUT WHERE I CAN SEE YOU!" Karkat growls into the night.

"Heeeeeeeey Karkat!" Vriska sneers appearing into view.

"Long tiime no 2ee huh kk?" Sollux asks stepping up next to Vriska.

"LOOK, I DON'T HAVE THE CROWN ANYMORE! AND EVEN IF I DID, YOU COULD HAVE IT." Karkat explains.

"Where ii2 the crown then kk?" Sollux asks.

"Does that girl have it?" Vriska inquires.

"LEAVE NEPETA OUT OF THIS! THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER!" Karkat yells.

"2o 2h3 doe2 have iit." Sollux lisps.

"We'll just have to take it from her won't we? Teach her a lesson she wont forget." Vriska croons in a sing song voice.

"NO DONT!-" ***THUNK*** Karkat crumpled to the ground as Sollux uses his **PSIIONIIC POWER2** to smash a rock onto Karkat's skull.

Nepeta was starting to worry. _What if Karkat didn't come back?_ Nepeta thought to herself. Nepeta stared at the spot where Karkat had disappeared into the gloom. She waited and waited but Karkat still didn't come back. _I'm going to have to go look for him. _Nepeta thinks. She gingerly steps out if the boat and begins to walk forward but stops as a shadow starts to walk towards her.

"Oh! Thank goodness I was starting to worry you had left without me." Nepeta says in relief.

"He diid leave wiithout you." The shadow said.

"Yeah he just couldn't staaaaaaaand you any more and decided to leave." Nepeta now saw that the one shadow, was actually two.

"No! That's not true he said he'd be right back! What did you do to Karkat?" Nepeta demands.

"What do you thiink the kiingdom wiill pay u2 for the lo2t prince22?" Sollux asks, completely ignoring Nepeta's question.

"Not sure. Why don't we find out? Vriska answers.

The two trolls start to advance towards Nepeta in slow deliberate steps.

"No! I don't believe it! Karkat wouldn't just leave me like this!" Nepeta shouts.

"Look for yourself girly, he's in that boat over there" Vriska sneers.

Nepeta looks across the lake and sees Karkat's figure in a small boat heading back towards the kingdom.

"Karkat?" Nepeta whimpers, heart broken.

without her noticing, the two thieves had come even closer to Nepeta. Sollux lunged at her but Nepeta spun around and sprinted away from the two thieves. Nepeta herd one of the thieves shout out in rage as she dodged between branches, and bushes, putting as much distance between the two thieves as possible. She could hear their footsteps getting louder and louder as they got closer and closer. Nepeta sped up but in her haste, and tripped over a tree root. She scrambled upward and started to run again but stopped as she heard both of the thieves cry out in pain.

"Nepeta my flower? Are you there?" A voice asked out from the darkness.

"Mother?" Nepeta asks in a scared voice.

"Oh thank goodness!" The Batter-which half ran, half walked to Nepeta. "I thought I had lost you for ever. I came back to the tower and when I saw you weren't there and I panicked. I came across these thieves and I followed them here and, and. I'm Just so glad that I found you in time!" The Batter-which explains. "Come on let's get you home before they come to!" The Batter-which says as she drags Nepeta behind her.

"pRETTY QUITE NIGHT HUH DARKLEER?" The kingdoms guard comments.

Silence.

"dON'T BE SO UP TIGHT REALAX A LITTLE!" The guard adds.

"D- Summoner, what is that?" Darkleer asks, pointing to a small shape coming closer and closer to the guard tower.

"iT'S PROBABLY SOME ONE WHO GOT CARRIED OFF BY THE CURRENT." Summoner says dismissively.

"D- Well where are his horns then?" Darkleer challenges.

"tHE TROLL DOESN'T HAVE HORNS?! pOOR FELLOW." The summoner says sympathetically.

"D- I was thinking maybe his horns are to small to see." Darkleer suggests.

The Summoner looks at Darkleer comprehension dawning on his face.

"hEY YOU THERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OVER HERE?" The Summoner orders.

No response. The boat continues to glide across the water until it bumps to a stop on the stone surface of the watch tower. The Summoner brings the a lantern up to the trolls face to find the wanted mutant blood, unconscious and tied up right. The troll stirred and groaned.

"hOLY SHIT! wE FOUND HIM!" Summoner yells.

"WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?" Karkat mumbles.

"i"LL TELL YOU WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. yOU'RE GOING TO JAIL. dARKLEER, PICK HIM UP! lET'S GET HIM TO THE DUNGEONS!" The Summoner orders.

"D- Yes sir." Darkleer grunts as he lifts Karkat onto his shoulder.

"There safe and sound!" The Batter-which chirps, sitting Nepeta down on her bed.

"Mofur?" Nepeta asks.

"Nepeta my flower don't do the cat puns! Mummy doesn't like the cat puns!" The Batter-witch says curtly.

"What do you think's going to happen to Karkat?" Nepeta asks.

"That troll will probably be hanged for his crimes." The Batter-witch says in a cold voice.

"What?!" Nepeta shrieks.

"Now, now my little flower." The Batter-witch croons. "Just forget every thing that happened today okay?" The Batter-witch stood up and walked out of Nepeta's room. Nepeta flops down on her pillows, distraught. As she lays on her bed, something sharp pokes into her head. She moves her pillows to find Karkat's satchel still hidden under her pillows. _Oh Karkat I never gave this back to you! And now you'll never get it. _Nepeta thinks to herself. Nepeta undoes the satchel to find a tiara inside. It glimmers and sparkles as it catches the sunlight. _What is this? _Nepeta thinks_ This looks like something from a fairy tale._ Nepeta sits upright and places the crown on her head. Tinker-bull comes out from under the bed and gasps. The crown fit perfectly on Nepeta's head almost like it was made for her. _Wait. What did that thief say? How much would they pay for the lost princess? No. It can't be!_ Nepeta takes the crown off her head and steps out of her bed room.

"Mother?" Nepeta inquires.

"Yes my flower?" The Batter-witch asks.

"I'm the lost princess." Nepeta states.

"What? Nepeta Darling that's absurd!" The Batter-witch shouts.

"But I am! That's why you never let me outside! This all makes sense now!" Nepeta pieces together.

"Nepeta that's not true!" The Batter-witch argues.

"Yes it is Mother and I know It! Or should I even call you Mother any more!" Nepeta shouts.

"You want me to be the bad guy?" The Batter-witch asks. "Fine then, I'm the bad guy."

"hEY MUTANT! GET UP!" Summoner yells.

Karkat groans and pushes himself up of the hard stone floor.

"Y34H T1M3 FOR YOUR 3XECUT1ON!" Another troll cackles.

"OH FUCK! GIVE ME FIVE MORE MINUTES! I'M SO TIRED" Karkat whines.

"yOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO SLEEP WHEN THIS IS ALL DONE AND OVER." The Summoner jokes. "dARKLEER! pICK UP THE PRISONER SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER WITH! i HAVE A DATE WITH A VERY PRETTY BLUE BLOOD TODAY AND I CAN'T BE LATE." Summoner explains.

"D- Yes sir." Darkleer mutters as he opens the prison cell and hefts Karkat up onto his shoulder.

"THIS IS SO FUCKING DEMEANING!" Karkat growls.

"1T'S GO1NG TO B3 3V3N MOR3 D3M34N1NG WH3N YOUR HUNG BY YOUR N3CK." The cackling troll adds.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAY?" Karkat says in the fiercest growl he could muster, which is very hard to do when your slung over someone's back.

The troll just stared blankly at Karkat then said.

"1 DO NOT G1V3 OUT N4M3S BUT MY T1TL3 1S R3DGL4R3." The troll informs Karkat.

The four trolls walked in silence after that and as they walked by windowsill, after windowsill, Karkat began to notice that on every windowsill there was a small ceramic muscle beast sitting on every ledge. _WAIT. _CERAMIC_ MUSCLE BEASTS? DIDN'T ONE OF THOSE TROLLS AT THE ROAMING HOOF BEAST COLLECT THOSE? _Karkat thought to himself. So it almost didn't come as a surprise when the door way in front of them slammed shut. Almost. All four trolls jumped with varying degrees of surprise.

"oPEN THIS DOOR!" The Summoner ordered.

"WhAt'S tHe MoThErFuCkIn' PaSsWoRd?" The troll behind the door asks.

"aW HELL NAW! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!" The Summoner demands.

"MoThErFuCkEr, ThAt WaSn'T eVeN cLoSe." The troll replies.

_GAMZEE? _Karkat thought.

"D- Please let us trough this is rather important." Darkleer asks.

"Aw ShIt! EqUiUs, wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk aM i SoPpOsEd To Do If ThEy GuEsS rIgHt?" Gamzee whispers.

"Gam, just open the glubbin' door already." An accented voice whines.

"Oh, uH, oKaY." Gamzee stutters.

The wooden door swings open and Equius comes bursting through, and catching The Summoner off guard, punches him in the jaw with a loud ***POP!*** Next Gamzee comes in and swings a club at Darkleer. Darkleer quickly blocks the blow with his hand and punches Gamzee right on his nose. Indigo blood oozes from Gamzee's nose and as Darkleer sees the royal blood and stops, frozen. Gamzee sees his reaction and uses it to his advantage.

"put that motherfucker down. **RIGHT** motherfuckin **NOW.**" Gamzee growls.

Darkleer quickly drops Karkat to the ground and runs off. His duties to the King and Queen were important but if he was going to choose between being subjuggulated and beheaded for being disloyal, he'd choose the beheading any day.

Gamzee quickly scoops up Karkat and runs down the corridor, leaving Redglare to Terezi and Eridan.

"WHY THE FUCK DOES EVERY ONE THINK I'M INCAPABLE OF WALKING?" Karkat bellows as he's jostled up and down in the juggalo's arms.

"ShOoSh PaP mOtHeRfUcKeR." Gamzee croons as the two trolls round a corner. Gamzee halts to a stop and slams Karkat down on the ground and standing in front of them was Sagittarius.

"SAGITTARIUS, YOU GOT THE TROLLS?" Karkat asks astonished.

The hoof beast just stared at him as if to say _yeah no fucking durr._

Karkat grunts in acknowledgement and jumps up onto the saddle.

"COME ON SAGITTARIUS LET'S GO GET NEPETA." Karkat whispers in the hoof beasts ear. Sagittarius whinnies and sprints down the roads of the kingdom at a full gallop. The two burst into the forest and at no time at all they were coming into view of Nepeta's tower. Karkat jumps off of Sagittarius and sprints into the tunnel.

"NEPETA! NEPETA LET ME IN!" Karkat shouts.

Karkat stood in the darkness until the hatch of the tunnel swung open and Karkat jumped up into the tower. "NEPETA?" Karkat calls again. He swiveled his head around as he heard a muffled scream. Nepeta was chained and gagged on the floor, viciously biting away at her gag trying to speak.

"NEPETA!" Karkat shouts. He stumbles toward her until a sharp pain seers trough his abdomen and he stumbles to the ground. Nepeta shrieks as The Batter-witch pulls the dagger out of Karkat. "Nepeta look what you did! I hope your happy." The Batter-witch chides. The Batter-witch starts to drag Nepeta towards the tunnel. Nepeta finally bites through the gag and shouts, "No! Stop let me heal him!"

"Nepeta! Is this really necessary? Stop struggling!" The Batter-witch yells.

"No I'll never stop fighting, I'll always try to get way from you!" Nepeta hollers. "But if you let me heal him I'll go with you and everything will go back to the way it was! Just let me heal him!" Nepeta pleads.

"Fine." The Batter-witch gives in. She stoops down and undoes the chains holding Nepeta's hands together. Nepeta scrambles over to Karkat who was lying very still on the floor.

"Karkat." Nepeta whimpers. Karkat coughs causing a trickle of red blood to poor out of his mouth.

"NEPETA." Karkat wheezes. "NEPETA I, I" Karkat stammers.

"Shhhh" Nepeta croons. "It'll be okay."

"NEPETA I LOVE YOU." Karkat says in a barely audible whisper.

"I love you too." Nepeta sobs.

Karkat takes one more shuddering breath and then lays still. His open eyes slowly drain of there usual yellow color and turn white.

"No!" Nepeta wails. "No no no no!" Nepeta hunches down over Karkat's lifeless body, big blobs of green tears streaking down her face.

"Come on Nepeta let's go." The Batter-witch says in a chilling tone.

"NO!" Nepeta screams.

"Nepeta!" The Batter-witch shouts starts to steps towards Nepeta but Tinker-bull flies down and rams hard into The Batter-witches legs. The Batter-which stumbles and falls backward, out the window, and falls down, down, down, and lands with a sickening crunch, causing Sagittarius to whiney in alarm.

"Oh no! Mother! What have I done!" Nepeta wails. Nepeta leans back down over Karkat and clings to his oversized shirt and sobs. "I can't bring you back!" Nepeta cries. Green tears now covered Karkat's shirt but no matter how much she cried Nepeta new she couldn't bring him back. With nothing else she could do, Nepeta sat their and quietly ran her fingers through his hair and began to sob out her song.

_Flower gleam and glow_

_Let your powers shine_

_Make the clock reverse_

_Bring back what once was mine_

_What once was mine_

As Nepeta sang, her tears that had gathered on Karkat's shirt Began to glow with a green light. Nepeta straitened as the emerald light bloomed over Karkat's wound. The blood began to seep back into Karkat's body and the wound slowly closed. Then the light began to fade, and the room returned to it's gloom.

"Karkat?" Nepeta whimpers.

Karkat stirs as the yellow of his eyes began to rush to his eyes.

"NEPETA?" Karkat groans.

"Karkat!" Nepeta squeals. Nepeta leans over and hugs Karkat as tight as she could.

"YOUR A FUCKING WEIRD BITCH YOU KNOW THAT?" Karkat only half jokes.

Nepeta giggles.

"Are you okay?" Nepeta asks Karkat through tear brimmed eyes.

"NO YOU DUMB BITCH! I WAS JUST STABBED AND THEN I DIED! IS THAT THE DEFINITION OF OKAY TO YOU?" Karkat bellows.

"Oh thank goodness your okay." Nepeta sighs in relief.

"BUT UH ARE YOU OKAY?" Karkat asks. "I MEAN... YOUR MOM.."

"She's dead and she wasn't my Mother." Nepeta explains in a hard voice.

"THEN... WHO IS YOUR MOTHER?" Karkat asks.

"The Queen, I'm the lost princess." Nepeta explains

"Disciple! Don't You Think This Would Be A Lovely Dress For The Ball Tomorrow?"

"Yes I suppose so Dolorosa." The Queen answers.

"Are All Right Your Majesty?" The dressing maid asks her empress.

"I THINK SHE'S JUST A BIT SAD FROM YESTERDAY KANAYA." Signless answers.

"Dude II don't thiink 2he wanted you to 2ay that." Signless's right hand man The Psionic whispers in the Kings ear.

"No that's quite alright Psionic. I wont hide that I'm sad about not having my only child return home to me." The Queen whimpers un-royal like.

"I'm Sorry Disciple." The Dolorosa says sympathetically.

"IIt'2 only been a day 2iince we 2et the lanterns iinto the 2ky. Give it time."

There conversation was interrupted by the pounding of footsteps heading up the stairs. The large door burst open to find a panting Tavros.

"WHAT'S WRONG?" Signless asks immediately on alert.

"tHE, pRINCESS, wE, fOUND HER." Tavros pants out.

"What? Where?" The Disciple demands.

"aT THE GATE OF THE CASTLE." Tavros informs.

The Disciple springs up from her chair and runs down the steps, the Signless not far behind. When the two matesprits reached the bottom floor the gate was already lowered and the guards stood aside. And standing there was an exact mini replica of the Disciple and Signless. The four trolls stood there to dumbfounded to move. The Disciple slowly walks towards Nepeta and rests her daughters head in her hands.

"My baby." The Queen whispers as she hugs her returned princess.

The Signless runs up two the two hugging trolls and adds himself to the family reunion.

_OKAY. THIS IS AWKWARD. _Karkat thinks to himself.

The Mother and Father seam to just notice Karkat because Signless asks, "DID YOU BRNG MY BABY GIRL HOME?"

"UHHH YEAH." Karkat replies.

"Well then come here than!" The Disciple says with a grin.

"UMM OKAY" Karkat stutters. He walks up to the hugging family and both Nepeta and Disciple pull him into the group hug.

And then dreams started coming true for every one! Terezi was brought under the wing of Redglare to become a lawyer, Gamzee was hired to play the piano for the King and Queen, Equius was given money to travel the world to complete his ceramic muscle beast collection, and when he finished that he was allowed to begin training to become a kingdoms soldier, and Eridan... Well he hasn't found true love yet but he's definitely working on it. Oh, and the two thieves Vriska and Sollux were banished from the kingdom and were than hired by the Grand-high blood to be his personnel bitches. And a certain Princess and wanted troll? They lived happily ever after.

The End


End file.
